intuition

I've slowly started seeing and realizing the presence of something in my mind that began to grow and unlock itself after the long mire. An empty source inside my head, a white blankness which creates ideas detached from my intents and typical behaviour, gives inspiration to mysterious artistic visions in my head and has already subtly guided several moments in my recent days, brightening them somewhat.

Intuition - a strange power... This is the true source of what I described here. I had no conscious project or intent to restore the friendship. The outlook was still fairly grim. And then I tossed that packet of tissues. It was just an invitation onto the path which led me to bring the pieces back together. All along the path, for once I did not think over every step I took.

Today, I went out bowling with my friend and her dad - and before that, something quite anecdotal occured, which however gave spark to this reflection.
While exploring the Centrum Bemowo shopping mall, I came across a rather cheap vending machine. I put 2,50PLN in and took out a Cherry Coke, which I promptly tried to open - only to have it burst out all over my hands and stain the floor. Whoops... I ran off to the nearby toilet to wash my hands and the bottle.
On my way out, I saw a rather cute woman getting a coke from the same machine.
"Watch out, it'll burst", I called out. She looked at me and smiled.

Trivial and tiny, but at least I made that woman's day a little more amusing... And once again, this is something I normally wouldn't have thought of...

I realized this is what I lack and what I need to develop. Cast overthinking aside and act according to that blank space whenever I hear its voice again.
And yet, it's difficult. There are still many impassable barriers within me that prevent me from connecting fully with people I care about. All I can do is keep trying, keep looking to the light of emptiness, blossoming from my optimistic, positive state of mind.