W7: hype and truth

October 22 has come around and Windows 7 is now plaguing every single store with a computer department while Microsoft has gone on a bold and proud crusade to bring its new system into every little nook and cranny.

So naturally there might be one or two of you still out there, overtaken by hype backlash and strongly pessimistic about Microsoft's new magnum opus.

Myself, I've taken a minor interest in Windows 7 since the beta stages.

While XP in itself is a great product that lasted a really long time, I was slowly growing envious of the shiny neat interface and structure of Vista. At the same time, however, all my switch attempts were short-lived, simply because Vista gave me more problems than useful changes and thus was not worth the problem.

When Windows 7 Beta came around with Microsoft going "Okay, right, Vista was shit, let's try this again", I figured I might as well check it out - so I made a separate partition and installed it...

And I was positively surprised.

Even then, it functioned as smoothly as XP and came with all the Aero shine and beauty of Vista bundled with a few more interesting interface, layout and functionality changes.

Libraries are an especially interesting change. They essentially work as a shortcut and a method to link several folders scattered across the hard drive together. They made keeping track of everything somewhat easier.

The interface has a few interesting functions added. When you grab a window and press it against a border, it'll either maximize (if you choose the top border) or take up one half of the screen (if it's a side border). You can also pull away a window from maximization.

The taskbar got a major makeover and turned into some kind of dock-taskbar-shortcut bar hybrid thing that's actually very practical. The way you can single out a window while browsing through the window lists is great.

Performance wise, I don't feel any significant difference between XP and 7, apart from the fact that 7 has an impressive boot speed which makes rebooting that much less of a nuisance. Otherwise, it functions really smoothly.

My dad has been running Vista SP1 for some time. He generally didn't mind Vista, but at some point it started getting really bogged down and he was considering a reinstall or something.

When Windows 7 RC came around with the ability to update from Vista SP1, I suggested an update to him, based on my current personal experience. He wasn't too convinced, but he eventually managed to upgrade.

Reportedly, the upgrade alone came with an enormous performance boost, quickly sweeping away any remaining skepticism.

The only problem I've run into is with hibernation. The regular power setting hibernated the computer after 30 minutes of inactivity. Whenever I booted my PC after hibernating, the reawakened OS did not react to my mouse or keyboard, forcing me to reset. It was a minor annoyance, so I turned auto-hibernation off.

All of this is still actual in the release. I'm not sure if they added anything more.

All in all, I personally think the hype is partly deserved. Windows 7 probably won't cure your cancer or AIDS or lift you into a new level of transcendence, clarity and understanding - but it's better than XP and MUCH better than Vista. If you can satisfy the minimum requirements for it, I recommend it.

the sound of silence

Which can hurt one more...
A painful word or a wall of silence?

I've found this question somewhere on Grono.net, the Polish clone of Facebook. It was quite interesting and sparked a few thoughts, combined with a song I discovered recently despite its rather old age.

Words may hurt. They may become a weapon. They may also construct.

More importantly - words form a shape, an information.

When someone speaks, I can try and analyze their words and context and learn more about them through this. I can see something, interact with it and store the information.

Silence can become a heavy, cold wall of steel.

Silence does not give me any definite information. There are no windows in it. There is nothing to look through, nothing to discover.

Under its weight you can either resist or find an opening - but if both fail, you are left helpless.

In a different context...

When we travel through streets, we meet thousands upon thousands of people.

All of them focused on their own little worlds, their own goals, their own troubles and joys. All those little worlds walk past each other, encircled by immense walls of silence.

Even in the city, we are alone.

The only difference is that we're surrounded by other people.

Simon and Garfunkel - The Sound of Silence

carved in stone

No state is eternal.

As we walk through life, we find ourselves in all sorts of low and high times.

When we soar in the light, warm from excitement, we may wish for this state to last forever. It won't.

When we sink down into a sea of darkest emotions, we are too quick to forget that, eventually, this too will pass.

As we evolve, so too we will learn lessons from these states. We must learn how to soar higher, how to avoid sinking too deep. In this endless, fierce river of life, we cannot hang on very long to rocks or branches we find. Our strength will run out or the branch will break. The water will sweep us down.

Thus, we can never stop in one spot and claim a certain state forever.

This is something that I am slowly coming to understand as I personally wade through all kinds of mires and soar through different skies. Dark times would pass and so would bright ones. Nothing is carved in stone.

Scar Symmetry - Carved in Stone

the sun and the moon

The recent outburst of winter in Poland reminded me of a reflection interesting enough to write about here...
There is a question I have never found a definite answer for: my favourite season. I can't pinpoint one.

Winter - the promise of a white sheet of snow to bury the world, giving it a completely new look. Walking through the falling snow on a cold winter night is quite fascinating. But every uncovered bit of my body keeps falling off and I keep forgetting to take a scarf with me, and snow making my feet slip is really irritating...
That particular wintery day of 14th October, however, somehow reminded me of the winter Aikido/ski camp I went to this year. An amazing, colorful time which taught me a lot and also a missed opportunity.

Spring - the rebirth of life and Sun. Less clothes needed, though the weather is unpredictable, like in fall. Everything is slowly turning greener, the promise of an Episode trip into the mountains with Kuro comes close... though, unfortunately, this summer we also have maturas ahead.

Summer... If I don't have a favourite season, I probably have one that I like less - and it would be summer. The sun is shining, everything is in full bloom and Nature is at its full glory... But there are plenty of downsides. On the up side, every summer begins with an Aikido camp - a bit over a week's time full of awesome. However, the burning summer heat is even worse than the freeze of winter, mosquitoes pester me for my sweet blood, flies and wasps are everywhere. Man I hate insects.

And finally, Fall. Everything is slowly dying and the weather becomes unpredictable again. However, there is something I really enjoy about typical fall weather - the dark, melancholic rainy evenings, the golden leaves littering the streets. In November, the dead have their days of remembrance. The insects usually die out around then, too. Unfortunately, school begins anew and the only hope is a promise of an autumn Episode.

In summary, I'd say Fall is closest to the top, but only by a little margin...
The paradox of summer and winter is also an interesting thing. In the coldest days of winter, I tend to wish for the summer sun - and inversely, I really wish for winter to return around the middle of summer when my face is melting.

46 & 2

Over the last two weekends, together with my mom, we made significant changes to both of the two rooms I inhabit. My life space for both everyday perusal and sleep has been completely changed.

I painted my personal room a shade of blue. All of my furniture has switched places, two bulky bookcases were moved out along with an enormous mound of books I never read anyway. This freed up enough space for a sofa soon to be bought and placed there.

Thanks to all this, my room is much better suited, not only for social needs, but also for my own needs. I can't wait for the sofa - being able to crash down on it, switch my speakers on and just listen to music like that will be priceless.

My bedroom took on a shade of green. We moved a wardrobe into the room, as well as a basket for dirty clothes. One of two beds was moved out and the other was set in a different position, resulting again in more space and a better place for my clothes (until now, they were all over the house and keeping track of them was difficult).

The aesthetics of both of my rooms have increased, the new space in my living room is better suited for parties (the sofa will provide a place for several persons to sit down or sleep). It's actually a bit of a trade-off, as we're also closing off a part of our house which will soon be rented by a student.

I somehow feel that those significant changes also reflect and mark the beginning of a new chapter in my life... The changes aren't a direct cause of the new chapter, nor is it the other way around. The chapter, I think, began somewhere around the end of September. The changes in my living space coincide neatly with the changes I've described last post and perhaps reflect them in some ways.

p.s. When I rose up from my bed today and peered out of the window, a landscape covered in white greeted me... For a while, I was really confused. Despite all my doubts, it is still October, we haven't jumped in time and yet the snow cover would make last winter really proud if a little embarrassed.

Though the temperature is way too high, so if it doesn't snow again really soon we'll all be swimming...

Tool - Useful Idiot/Forty Six & 2

purify

September was an interesting time. Many things happened in the space of those few weeks and I feel that I have learned a great deal about myself. I managed to clarify my view of the world, I managed to understand several things that were important me.

I feel like I've managed to become a slightly better human being.

I've realized the most important thing for me is creative communication with other human beings - to reinforce the positive spirit of unity within the Blacks, to maintain the bonds, especially those I tried to sever (only to realize severing them is not possible for me).

I am still full of multiple inhibitions originating from my social detachment, from problems with self-esteem and overthinking every little thing I do - but I've started chipping away at the walls, trying to act on my positive impulses, exploring the real boundaries instead of cowering behind the false boundaries I imposed on myself.

Nothing is final, though. This is a state that will waver, will fade. I may find myself gripped by hate and rage - and in fact, even after the lessons, I still do from time to time, but the grip is weaker and even through those emotions I keep focusing on what I've learned. Self-control is another important thing. I cannot let those emotions spill over and hurt others again.

On the average, though, my recent days have been far more positive. The rebuilt bond is as strong as ever, if not stronger. I know what I want and who I need.

p.s. Figured I might as well start including the songs I steal titles from.

Neurosis - Purify (Part 1) (Part 2)

sign

Another short one.

Me and my mom went out shopping today, during rainy weather. On our way, the sun came out, but the rain didn't stop - so we expected to see a rainbow.

When we found its arm, I realized that I cannot remember ever seeing an entire arch of a rainbow. As soon as I mentioned it, however, my mom noticed that...

...an entire rainbow arch is clearly visible.
We actually stopped in the middle of a fairly empty road just to gaze in awe.
And, as you can see here, I brought back picture proof.

I'd say it was a little wink at me from Nature, saying that things like this can happen. Perhaps other miraculous occurences await...

intuition

I've slowly started seeing and realizing the presence of something in my mind that began to grow and unlock itself after the long mire. An empty source inside my head, a white blankness which creates ideas detached from my intents and typical behaviour, gives inspiration to mysterious artistic visions in my head and has already subtly guided several moments in my recent days, brightening them somewhat.

Intuition - a strange power... This is the true source of what I described here. I had no conscious project or intent to restore the friendship. The outlook was still fairly grim. And then I tossed that packet of tissues. It was just an invitation onto the path which led me to bring the pieces back together. All along the path, for once I did not think over every step I took.

Today, I went out bowling with my friend and her dad - and before that, something quite anecdotal occured, which however gave spark to this reflection.
While exploring the Centrum Bemowo shopping mall, I came across a rather cheap vending machine. I put 2,50PLN in and took out a Cherry Coke, which I promptly tried to open - only to have it burst out all over my hands and stain the floor. Whoops... I ran off to the nearby toilet to wash my hands and the bottle.
On my way out, I saw a rather cute woman getting a coke from the same machine.
"Watch out, it'll burst", I called out. She looked at me and smiled.

Trivial and tiny, but at least I made that woman's day a little more amusing... And once again, this is something I normally wouldn't have thought of...

I realized this is what I lack and what I need to develop. Cast overthinking aside and act according to that blank space whenever I hear its voice again.
And yet, it's difficult. There are still many impassable barriers within me that prevent me from connecting fully with people I care about. All I can do is keep trying, keep looking to the light of emptiness, blossoming from my optimistic, positive state of mind.